Season 1
S1E1 – “And In the Beginning”
Young Dexter, bad wigs, and too much plastic.
S1E2 – “Kid in a Candy Store”
Voids, inappropriate workplace behavior, and no less than four Cuban sandwiches.
S1E3 – “Miami Vice”
Bobbing for body parts, coke and cookies, and misadventure at the fronton.
S1E4 – “Fender Bender”
Melons, Lizards and Gameboys, oh my!
S1E5 – “F is for F*** Up”
Eating the devil’s brownies, hanging with horses, and a very Brady dress.
S1E6 – “Joy of Killing”
Double dating with Dex and Deb, more severed limbs than you can shake a severed limb at, and now we know why we have to care about Spencer’s bad divorce.
S1E7 – “The Big Bad Body Problem”
Jedi mind tricks, KOs, and Saturday night plot jobs
S1E8 – “Business and Pleasure”
Old friends, new boats, and fancy fingernails.
S1E9 – “Blood Drive”
Reckless phlebotomizing, grudges, grudges, and more grudges, and Bingo!
S1E10 – “Code Blues”
Loose ends, happy endings, and awkward dancing.
Season 1
S1E1 – “A Beating Heart”
Trauma care, officious pricks, and the best pork sandwiches in Iron Lake.
S1E2 – “Camera Shy”
Pickles, sandwich snobs, and home runs.
S1E3 – “Backseat Driver”
American Psycho, Miami’s Finest, and the lax state of mail order veterinary pharmaceuticals.
S1E4 – “Call Me Red”
It’s a trap! Everything old is new again: terrible wigs, blood slides, and poor relationship choices.
S1E5 – “Murder Horny”
Leslie Stahl is shockingly cynical, Rob Zombie outta nowhere, and Dexter loses another friend–like clockwork.
S1E6 – “Cats and Mouse”
Rabbits, cats, and a lesson in sharing the spotlight.
S1E7 – “Course Correction”
Carnivores, twins, and college tours.
S1E8 – “The Kill Room Where It Happens”
Gaslighting, slum lords, and badly tailored tuxes.
S1E9 – “Touched by An Angel”
Those chickens always do make it home to roost, don’t they?
S1E10 – “And Justice for All”
Bad hosts, all thumbs, and a John Travolta tribute.
Season 1
S1E1 – “Pilot”
“Tonight’s the night…”
S1E2 – “Crocodile”
Do not become addicted to your fingertips.
S1E3 – “Popping Cherry”
When life gives you lemons, make blood slides.
S1E4 – “Let’s Give the Boy a Hand”
Deniece Williams would never…
S1E5 – “Love American Style”
Something something something, inappropriate role models. Something something something, Atari.
S1E6 – “Return to Sender”
The Life Aquatic with Dexter Morgan; or, How I Learned to Stop Hating and Understand Maria Laguerta.
S1E7 – “Circle of Friends”
Show tunes, toes, bacon…and apologies to Stanley Tucci.
S1E8 – “Shrink Wrap”
I am absolutely not stuck in the middle with you.
S1E9 – “Father Knows Best”
Dancing, cable guys, and garbage crimes.
S1E10 – “Seeing Red”
F*** it, just send everybody out.
S1E11 – “Truth Be Told”
Poppin’ cough drops like candy.
S1E12 – “Born Free”
Bananas, some fries!, and James Doakes will have his revenge on Miami.
Season One Lookback
The real serial killers were the fake fiances we made along the way.
Villains – The Ice Truck Killer
Dexter versus Brian, nature versus nurture, Harry versus court-appointed psychiatrists.
Villains – Mike Donovan, Matt Chambers, Nurse Mary, Emmett Meridian, Jorge & Valerie Castillo
Good dogs, bad people, and the frayed ends of from which dangles the suspension of disbelief.
Season 2
S2E1 – “It’s Alive”
Big men, bad roommates, and board games.
S2E2 – “Waiting to Exhale”
Not with the shoe again.
S2E3 – “An Inconvenient Lie”
One shoe, twelve steps.
S2E4 – “See Through”
White whales, people soup, and incriminating diatoms.
S2E5 – “The Dark Defender”
Revenge is a dish best served after 13th stepping.
S2E6 – “Dex, Lies, and Videotape”
Love, unrequited and requited too much.
S2E7 – “That Night, A Forest Grew”
Pardons, wagons, and chaos.
S2E8 – “Morning Comes”
Interview with A Vampire: Miami, responsive landlords, and dangerous (bowling) alleys.
S2E9 – “Resistance is Futile”
Schrodinger’s GPS coordinates, HR nightmares, and terrible window treatments.
S2E10 – “There’s Something About Harry”
Dad Bod day at the beach, even more bad wigs, and pasión!
S2E11 – “Left Turn Ahead”
Heathy hydration in the Everglades, the importance of language education, and theft prevention tips.
S2E12 – “The British Invasion”
And France to the rescue…
Villains: Lila West, Little Chino, Roger Hicks, Ken Olson, and Santos Jiminez
Raising the undead, pale copies, and missed opportunities. Lila West, Little Chino, Roger Hicks, Ken Olson, and Santos Jiminez.
Season 3
S3E1 – “Our Father”
The importance of flossing, laminate complexes, and nasty nasty nasty pudding
S3E2 – “Finding Freebo“
Elevator etiquette, great hair, and Chicky BoomBoom Hines.
S3E3 – “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
C is for Cheerios Guy, Z is for Zucchini, and S is for Should Have Paid Better Attention in Spanish Class.
S3E4 – “All in the Family”
Witness whispering, the sun also rises, and any night can be pizza night if you love what you’re doing.
S3E5 – “Turning Biminese”
HIPAA violations, misremembered balls, and bupkis.
S3E6 – “Si Se Puede”
Mom and Mom are fighting, the sordid truth about key lime pie, and losing Rita to the darkness of the 2008 real estate market.
S3E7 – “Easy as Pie”
Deb’s hair, Quinn’s tan, and F***ing Albert Chung.
S3E8 – “The Damage A Man Can Do”
Serial killers, cereal weed, and the stunning insights of Detective Obvious.
S3E9 – “About Last Night”
Missing CIs, dead lawyers, and open graves.
Buzz kills, c*** blocks, and stubborn stains.
S3E11 – “I Had A Dream”
High class adult entertainment, top notch detective work, and a posse of parrots.
S3E12 – “Do You Take Dexter Morgan?”
Marrying unicorns, memorial cupcakes, and jokes that aged like milk.
Villains: The Skinner, Miguel Prado, Oscar Prado, Freebo, Ethan Turner, Clemson Gault
Oopsies, lies, and delusions.
Season 4
S4E1 – “Living the Dream”
Hand mirrors, iPods, and Marco Polo.
S4E2 – “Remains to Be Seen”
Nine easy pieces, no more cream cheese for you, and weaponizing the best boys.
S4E3 – “Blinded by the Light”
Enough Culture Club to make a man want to kill, Victoria’s Secret Offender Registry, and the saddest sack on the HOA.
S4E4 – “Dex Takes A Holiday”
Chain of what?, poked bees, and a permanent end to cholesterol woes.
S4E5 – “Dirty Harry”
Springing leaks, daddy issues, and bad timing
S4E6 – “If I Had A Hammer”
Murder weapons, bread makers, and empty urns.
S4E7 – “Slack Tide”
Strained metaphors, bad neighbors, and the quietest boat motor in the world.
S4E8 – “Road Kill”
Freeloaders, fish heads, and everyday applications of geometry.
S4E9 – “Hungry Man”
More HR nightmares, not-yams, and neighborly kindness.
S4E10 – “Lost Boys”
Troublesome bumper stickers, unexpected social commentary, and mothballed pajamas.
S4E11 – “Hello Dexter Morgan”
Castle doctrine uno reverso, unexpected toothbrushes, and several upsetting takes on impotence.
S4E12 – “The Getaway”
Father figures, unbroken cycles, and broken hearts.
